Infinite thoughts

Transition and Redirection

Transition and Redirection

By: Lovely del Mundo

It has been half of the year 2015 already. I feel so blessed because everything that was taken away from me 3 years ago is all coming back to me now. It’s like a second life. My faith. My sanity. My career. My social life. My soul.  Most of all, being who I am. It’s being the real Lovely del Mundo.  

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-openpage/the-mid20s-crisis-that-really-isnt-one/article5997260.ece
Source: Hindu.com

I am dealing with Mid-20’s crisis. It’s the time where I am thinking about my path or where should I go next. This is the phase that I still have uncertainties about my life status and my relationship with the people around me. I am concerned about my satisfaction for what I am doing.  Also, I want to strengthen my faith with the higher power, God.

“With God, All things are possible” Matthew 19:26

I am having a hard time from the transition of having a busy lifestyle then being super Idle-ish life then busy lifestyle again cycle. I can’t blame myself if I am not good enough with the job I am doing right now. I know the reason behind it which other people don’t know. And, will NEVER UNDERSTAND. Conceal. Don’t feel. Don’t let them know.  Judge me. I don’t care. I just came back. It just so happen that destiny leads me there. Everything falls into place when I am in the field of TEACHING.  I want to talk about it in this blog.

Teaching is not just a job but also a vocation and service. It needs a thousand…ah no… million of patience, hard work and passion to last long in this kind of career. Now, I am starting to assess myself. Am I really for teaching? Why I am here? Teaching is my second option as a career. I can’t say that I don’t like it. I have plans to become a college professor. I enjoyed teaching ESL. There’s a rewarding feeling in teaching that I won’t feel with a call center job. I still pursued Communication / Journalism major way back on college because that is what I want to do. I prefer to work in a publishing office or something about advertising.  In my family tree, almost all of my aunts are teachers already so I want to be different. Oh no! I failed!  Even though, I escaped taking BS Education as a major still I am working now as a teacher. I told my mom, “I can’t escape the genes trail”.

I suddenly remembered the day I was interviewed with the job I have right now. The principal asked me if I am willing now to have a redirection about my career. My answer was, “I am willing to learn this new job.” Did I say yes? I don’t think so.  I still want to experience my career preference but destiny doesn’t lead me there.  Do you create your destiny or destiny is arranged already? Well, I have NO CHOICE. I need a full-time job. I need to be a legal and productive citizen of the Philippines. Blogging doesn’t offer me a decent salary nor a legal financial security.  I have to decide wisely.  Grab the opportunities in front of you right away. I am already 24. I want to have a stable career. I want to recover into the best person that I can be. I want to prove with all those the people who misjudged me, belittled me, betrayed me and even labelled me as “loser” when I was still under the control of that monster that they are all wrong. Thanks to that experience because their bullshits were all revealed to me. Now, I know who’s real or reel.

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Art Area in Casa | Photo by: Lovely del Mundo

Let’s go back with my teaching career. Now, I am working as an asst. teacher in Casa (Pre-school). It’s a Catholic and Montessori School so I really don’t express myself too loud there. I can’t be a rockstar.  I don’t do my dramatic eyeliner. Haha! In a class of 16 preschoolers, I need to attend their needs every day for 3 hours. I need to keep an eye in every each of them for their safety. Being a pre-school teacher is a very tedious job. Actually, I never imagined myself to be one but I am actually living it now. It never crossed my mind. I used to teach Koreans but the youngest was a Grade 3 student.

I can relate with the creative theorist blog here:(https://wanderatease.wordpress.com/2015/06/04/teaching-abroad-honestly/)

“Kids are fun to hang with, but hard to teach. I’d rather deal with moody middle and high school students than high energy kids.”

He also mentioned about the trapped routine and there’s no room for exploration.  I feel the same way about it. In my age, I want to explore more and live life to the fullest now that I still I have the energy to do it like my college batch mates and high school close friends.  I am still thirsty for an adventure which I won’t get in a school setting.  My mom doesn’t understand that what I am saying, I guess.  Regarding my workplace, there are turtles in aquarium, 3 cows namely Alba, Rosie and Bianca and surprising anonymous snakes. Maybe, I can blog about the place and take pictures just in case you are wondering why it’s like I am in National Geographic. Haha! Sometimes, I am just stressed out because I am the only one new and the rest of the people are almost together for a year so I can’t relate to them most of the time plus age gap.  If I only have a new employee buddy that would be better. I really hope so.  There are times I felt discriminated esp. when my mom wasn’t allowed to fetch me in the lobby while my other colleague’s husband can.  Why it has to be me? It’s because I am the only new one. Did I forget to mention I am the youngest one as well? Looking in brighter side, the best part of being a pre-school teacher is the students are still cute and pure.  They can easily smile and laugh again after they cry.  Their presence is somehow stress relieving. Hi Gent! ❤ There is free lunch everyday. I love the recipes of the cook there.. 😀 haha.. (Giniling na may corn, peas and carrot) I have no transportation fee because I just live 5 minutes away from the school. I just walk.

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My lecture and handouts… oh my phone is there? haha!

 I asked myself several times already. Am I now having a redirection in terms of my career? I already decided to take up CTP (18 units) course. I am having fun with my Saturday class. I love my come back to DLSU-D. I miss my green university. ❤ After that, I’m preparing myself for the Licensure Exam next year 2016.  I already finalize my further plans too about this career. I always pray to God for the blessing with my plans and guidance. (My meditation hour is 4:00 AM.. That’s one of my secrets) My heart and mind was settled. ^^

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Student Again! 😀 #CTP #comebackkid

As being a blogger, I still blog. That won’t stop. If I will be given a chance to be an editor / writer, I will accept that. I will be consistent and persistent being a writer. I have better plans with Words and Rhythm. Also, I want to thank some people who influenced, encouraged and supported me during my part-time days as a blogger. You know who you are. I was inspired and motivated to live life. I love my blog community.

Thanks for reading!   ^^ Any violent reactions dear readers? hahaha! :p

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19 thoughts on “Transition and Redirection

  1. You are not alone in thinking and (maybe worrying?) about these questions all the time; all of us people who are constantly searching for ourselves do that too.

    Glad that you came to a certain conclusion and all the best for your future endeavours! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah… Thanks shiroyuni for reading.. ^o^ You’re right sometimes I still do have uncertainties because I want to do more.. Humans have no contentment.. This whole write up is my present feeling towards my job right now.. Somehow, I was able to finalize a plan that I think will secure me and will let me explore. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand the frustation of getting to understand where your future leads. Either good or bad things happen along the way trust me, it is meant to be like that. When you are thinking about being reasonable in terms of salary YES, everything needs money. You have to be reasonable I am fully agree with that. But I like that you won’t just stop there and still dreaming about your future career. I think you are heading in the right direction 🙂

    Sometimes people like this are the ones to succeed. Confusing is just a matter of learning and trying to analyze carefully what steps you should take next. What I am going to tell you is, don’t let anyone belittle your dreams and you. It’s just a poison that runs through your vein. It’s your job to neutralize it before it even kills you. Life is hard. But god has given me a chance before to prove that even the most impossible thing for me could be achieved it. I still didn’t understand how that could happen up until now. That’s where miracle takes part 🙂

    My principle in this life is money is not everything but everything needs money. I have proven before that I wouldn’t be blinded by money at all. But I need it. Unfortunately, my goal in this life is not to be a rich billionaire but if that happens of course I won’t refuse at all. You still need money more than you ever need even if your salary is not enough for your living. You need to take many steps leaps and sometimes thousands. But hey nobody is getting there easily, it’s just seems easy in front of the others.

    That’s cool if you could walk because it’s healthier and I admire you for that while I need to drive everyday facing these stupid people on the street which is frustating. I admire your simplicity of life and ugh as you know I don’t have that much patience with naughty kids. So I won’t be any kind of teachers. I just need a lot more patience to do that. That’s why everyone who said that teacher is an easy job should try themselves before I drown them on the water LOL

    Even if you fail, don’t forget that somebody is being proud of you. Count me in!

    * PS : Nobody was being proud of me back then, all people were not so supportive. Only a friend of mine was supporting to me at that time and up until now.

    Like

    1. Wow… I didn’t expect this very long comment of yours… >.< Thank you… All I can say is Thank you.. ^^ It inspired me and even made me cry a little.. I don't know why…Maybe I just found out that there's somewhere out there who understands. It has a big impact on me. Hope you can lift up more people you know online and even in the real world. I adore you for being that kind of person. 🙂 I am glad that I met you here in wordpress! ^o^

      Yeah. Life is hard. To survive is the matter of how you handle any situation that will happen to you. I understand your point. It really makes sense. And, to have a friend like that is a blessing. Consistency, Trust and Sincerity is important in friendship. You are lucky to have that person. ^^~

      Hope to keep in touch with you always.. despite of my busy sched.. waah! T^T

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No problem just don’t give up and keep going. Although you may change your route and dream just don’t stop.

        To think about them, obstacles are fun for me sometimes. Of course I will as much as I can 🙂

        Good luck with your busy schedule.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You also mentioned the simplicity of life I have right now. I am like a Mori girl. (A girl who lives in a forest) haha! There are times I am dreaming of working in a big city and a really famous company but having this humbling workplace made me avoid worst pollution, traffic and most of all more hypocrite people to deal with.. (Am I pessismist? It’s just reality) I was thinking that I am just being protected from all of that so I need to stay in a forest-like environment. haha.. Just my thoughts..!

        Happy weekend by the way! I miss your sketches with your galaxy note!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I feel the same too. Sometimes working in a big company feels great. But I prefer to work in a less disturbance and noise place. Oh well, we wouldn’t be able to choose anything right away as we 100% want right now. Let’s just do what we can do 🙂

        Happy weekend too. I have already given my Galaxy Note to my mom 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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